Robert W Wells

Expectations: The Key to Present and Future Relationships
Author: Robert W Wells
Published: September 07, 2009
For more articles: www.robertwells.com

Let me take a moment to paint a picture for you. You have been working with a trusted colleague for over a year now. These days, you feel slightly disappointed by your colleagues’ behavior. You had high hopes for what you envisioned they would accomplish. You feel let down by their lack of zeal and motivation. Unconsciously, you start to act differently around them. Then one day, your colleague finally asks you, “What’s wrong?”. You really don’t know what to say because you never communicated your high expectations of them.

Picture number two… You are married…  You come home from a long strenuous day at work. Meetings all day and you even skipped lunch. You settle into your evening with your spouse and you notice the stack of unpaid bills is still sitting in the same spot. You become slightly upset and maybe even a little indifferent toward your spouse. The conversation goes something like this. “Honey, why are the bills still sitting in the same spot?”. Your spouse says, “Was I supposed to pay them today?”.

You can avoid major conflicts in your biz and family by Setting, Reviewing and Re-Setting expectations. These two scenarios describe a very common pitfall in business and at home. We all have hidden EXPECTATIONS of others. We don’t often communicate these expectations “out loud” which is why we are so often disappointed in others’ actions.

First, SET Reasonable Expectations. We all can get a little crazy when it comes to setting expectations for someone else. Try to have a little empathy and be realistic about the expectations you set. Do not set expectations that are unachievable. This is a recipe for disaster! Stay within  strength zones and maybe stretch them slightly. Remember to write down the expectations of both parties.

Second, on a regular basis, sit down and discuss (communicate) the expectations with the other person. Be proactive and loving. When you have expectations that both parties agreed to in writing, the conversation is pretty easy.  In business, I like to encourage my clients to create Performance Expectations and set up bi-annual Performance Review sessions. This stimulates a culture of productivity and accountability.  Take the time to review expectations. Simply go over what you discussed earlier and determine if expectations have been met.

If expectations have been met, Celebrate! When someone meets or exceeds expectations, it is a great achievement. It does not matter how big or small the expectation is. Take a moment to show your appreciation for this achievement.

If expectations were not met, don’t panic, don’t get upset. Take a moment to reflect on why the expectation was not met. Was it because the bar was set to high? Was it because the expectation was unrealistic, or was it because the other person simply did not meet the needs of the expectation. Once you discover the root cause of a failed expectation, you have the data to determine your next course of action.

Third, If the expectations have not been met and you understand the reason why, REVISE your expectations. Do not set the same expectations and assume they will be met. Revise the expectations and make them reasonable and achievable. Expectations are good and can be used to catapult the relationships in your business and personal life to another level.

“I’m a great believer in luck and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.”   Thomas Jefferson

I don’t believe in luck but I love this quote from one of our Nation’s Founding Fathers. My interpretation of the quote is… we need to expect results when we spend focused time (working) on achieving results. I encourage you to explore the power of expectations. Spend focused time on Setting, Reviewing and Revising expectations with colleagues and family today.

Thank you for reading my thoughts on Expectations: The Key to Present and Future Relationships. I wish for you success in your business and more importantly in your personal and family life.